Stories Once Told

People can be so stupid.

Seriously.

I just read a recent article about Lee Hyori and her boyfriend Lee Sang Soon. I scrolled down to read the comments and see that some comments are defending people who base love off of appearances. There was one that stated something like this: Think about it from the girl’s family’s/friend’s perspective. How would you feel if your daughter/sister/friend was this pretty, attractive, smart girl and was dating some undeserving of her?

First, I’d like to ask: Who are you to say who’s deserving of who? Ok, I admit there may be obvious situations where a guy is a stupid, cheating bastard and the girl is super sweet—I swear I only see that in dramas though. However, Hyori’s relationship is nothing like that. People believe that Sang Soon is undeserving of Hyori because she’s “more attractive” than he is or he’s not attractive enough for her. How the heck does someone’s appearance determine someone’s eligibility to be in a relationship with someone else? Also, how would you know if Lee Sang Soon isn’t smart, kind, charming, with all those other good qualities? That’s right. You don’t.

The whole question of deserving one another is a huge problem with some relationships. Its basically like you’re always comparing each other as who is more deserving than who. Why would anyone want to put down someone they love? So if you’re in a relationship don’t even say it! It’ll only result in you/your partner losing self esteem.

And since when were people so annoyingly judgmental that they think just because they can have an opinion they can be God and decide who should date who?

It’s true that in our society, there are a majority of people who base their decision on appearances when looking for a partner, but in the end what keeps the relationship together is their personality. Appearance is only there for impressions. 

There will always be an attraction from appearances, but never love. I think love is developed through time and learning of the other person. What you learn about your partner is what you learn to also love and it creates a stronger attraction than from the beginning of your relationship. For example (ok technically its not about a relationship, but it applies here), when I first became a fan of 2NE1, I didn’t have a bias. I just loved all of them, but after watching 2NE1TV I started to favor towards Bom. And it wasn’t because she was beautiful (which she is) but because of her bubbly, hilarious personality. Now I’m basically obsessed with her :) Loving someone’s personality is what makes their attraction to someone stronger.

Not a good enough example? Fine. Here’s something personal. I’ve had a crush on a classmate during freshman year. He wasn’t the guy everyone thought was attractive and the truth is I didn’t fall for him because of his looks but his humor. The more I saw him, the more I got to see different sides of him. I began to like him more and more. The more I liked him the more attractive he became. I realized how great his smile was, how athletic he was, etc. All the good qualities just came pouring out. I seriously got angry when friends of mine asked me “Why?”—why did I like him, in a tone that implied “Ew how could you like someone like that?”. There was also a time where a member of my family saw a picture of him and said “He’s ugly. Why him? I think you could do better.” I know they mean well, but I just could’t stand those cruel words about someone I thought to be with.

Understand that people have their own preferences and they’re not always similar to yours. Deal with it. You aren’t the one in the relationship nor are you God. I’m glad Hyori is defending her relationship strongly, but a human can only deal with so much. Hyori and Sang Soon seem to have a good relationship going; they don’t need your irrelevant opinions.

Just let them be happy (like TOPBOM).